The gases rose before I could stop them
or even notice, and then I forgot where I was
or what glorious fatherland I was serving
or what my name was, or anything.
For some reason, I thought of pebbles
in the creek when I was a girl, how I
picked them up, tasted them, slid them
under my tongue and ran, with never
the faintest idea that I could choke.
Prompt: Imaginary Garden with Real Toads (a Soviet sci-fi poster).
21 thoughts on “I Thought of Pebbles in the Creek”
I love this take. And your title.
Thanks, De! Titles are hard.
This is like one of these images when you are alone in space… I feel like being inside the head of Major Tom
Yes, very solitary …
Yes, I went to the same place Bjorn did with Major Tom…alone in space..I wouldn’t want to be there.
Yes, she definitely is alone in my mind, too. And no thanks!
Succinct and powerful.
Thank you, Rosemary!
The ending — oomph! Great lines.
Thank you, Adam! That’s good to hear, because I often struggle with endings.
the brevity adds so much to the marvellous prose- gases could be fatal or mind bending – and the introduction of the pebbles a thought provoking juxtaposition
Thank you, Laura! I’d like to think my space explorer survives this mishap, but I’m not sure.
Looks bad for her… hopefully she is a main character and pulls through. You weave an interesting story in just a few words.
Thanks, Debi! Yes, I like her and hope she pulls through, too. 🙂
I started with Dachau but it could have been Andromeda — anywhere fathers rule the land. Wonderfully sublime end.
Thank you so much, Brendan! And there’s definitely some outer space in there. I hadn’t thought of Dachau and other such horrible places, but the woman in the poster I used does look scared as gases swirl around her, so it works.
Your work with juxtaposition here is superb. This is a poem to remember.
Wow — thanks, Kerry! For once, I didn’t mash a bunch of prompts together. 🙂
You’re unique. I like you!
Awww, thanks, Hannah. I like you, too. 🙂
:)! Thank you!