Oregano

Grown in the joyful yam-colored foothills of Oregon. Shout its name,
in the manner of the early colonists, and see if it comes back to you.

Garlic

As a flavoring, it has no equal. It has been to clam dip and back.
A little goes a long way, gathers itself, and then comes home.

Black Pepper

As old as the tides, as valuable as those, and as sharply aromatic.
Sprinkle pepper at your next masquerade ball to undress your guests.

Bay Leaves

Put one under your tongue and your most prosaic speech becomes
a bouquet garni  Whisper to me your story of cooking water and bouillon.

Cinnamon

It lists to one side and then the other, a sizzling dream of casserole
and potpourri, a con carne applesauce that talks and talks and talks.

Mustard

Not the hot dog kind in the sunny yellow barrel but the dry, powdery kind
to sprinkle on steaks or add to cookies and be better than the rest of us.

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OK, that’s all the Kroger spice descriptions people sent me. Does anyone have others? (If you’re new to this, I saw a very impressive description from a Kroger brand oregano label, so I asked people to send me photos of other Kroger spice labels or let me know what they say.) If you have Kroger in your area and have spices other than these, please let me know!

Oregano

Grown in the joyful yam-colored foothills of Oregon. Shout its name,
in the manner of the early colonists, and see if it comes back to you.

Garlic

As a flavoring, it has no equal. It has been to clam dip and back.
A little goes a long way, gathers itself, and then comes home.

Black Pepper

As old as the tides, as valuable as those, and as sharply aromatic.
Sprinkle pepper at your next masquerade ball to undress your guests.

Bay Leaves

Put one under your tongue and your most prosaic speech becomes
a bouquet garni  Whisper to me your story of cooking water and bouillon.

Cinnamon

It lists to one side and then the other, a sizzling dream of casserole
and potpourri, a con carne applesauce that talks and talks and talks.

Well, now the problem I’m having is that the Kroger brand oregano description may have been a sine qua non, the height of the spice label writer’s art. Friends have graciously supplied me with a few other Kroger spice label descriptions, as you can see, but none have been quite as inspired or as unusually informative as the one for oregano. But if you comment with other Kroger spice label descriptions, I’ll do what I can. Thanks!

Oregano

Grown in the joyful yam-colored foothills of Oregon. Shout its name,
in the manner of the early colonists, and see if it comes back to you.

… And that’s where I stalled out, and here’s why: Earlier today, a Facebook friend (and a great poet, too) posted a description from a bottle of Kroger brand oregano, and I found it very evocative. I thought I could do a whole rack of spices, and just “riff” on the ones other than oregano. But I can’t. I really, really want the Kroger descriptions! We don’t have Kroger around here, though … do you? If so, would you mind posting a photo or typing verbatim the description on the label of any Kroger brand spices you have — or would be willing to capture in the store? If so, I’d really appreciate it — thanks!

Let’s try this again,
assuming the ceiling fan
can turn time backwards
if we reverse its direction
and correct for any
interstitial interference
by the music of the spheres.
Did we keep the instructions?
The microwave says we did,
but it’s a liar — or at least
its recipe booklet is.
But back to the fan,
how its blades oscillate,
how it whines as if
it’s about to achieve lift-off,
fly through our front window,
seek a new home for itself,
one with lower expectations.

If you’re kissing your mustachioed husband,
I won’t buy your particular brand of ham sandwich.
No. Not today. And I don’t need any more sand
in these autoclaves; already, the canaries fail to spin
about half the time. I need some of those fail-safe,
sand-safe autoclaves, or your husband
without a mustache, or double the canaries.
I hope you can understand. I feel that you will.