All the time, we missed the bus,
when we were in our prime.

I was taller then, and more
handsome. You fixed me

once more, and that was just
fine. You never told your mother.

Now I notice you and wonder,
is there any special way

we could shut the door
and miss that bus again?

After George Jones and Tammy Wynette’s “Did You Ever?” I know I’m on a country jag … I have a big decision to make, so initially I was thinking of “Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?” But I thought maybe that was a little too on the nose. So I put “Did You Ever” in the YouTube search window and got this funny, semi-dirty song. I love how he says, “Alllllll the time.” Enjoy, and please leave me a request if you have one.

Never go out fishing
with a girl you met at Walmart.

Keep honey in a jar,
not cold beer in a sack.

Don’t go out to the bars
with your apples in a bag.

Never go out blind
if you don’t have the knack.

Spend your last dimes,
your red cents, on chickens.

You can count them
when you’re broke and bent.

After “Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch,” by Tommy Ray. I had a rough day today. I was going to do a sad song, but the phrase in this title popped into my head, so I went searching for a song we used to sing in elementary school music class that used that same saying. I didn’t find it, but I did find this—and for some reason, the part about the girl hanging out at Walmart cracked me up, and then life seemed better.

Have a request? Please let me know in the comments.