I need feet to run away from you.
I hear a lilting melody; it’s Hoochy-Coo
from a carnival tent in Scunthorpe.
I’ll walk there after I run, and I’ll
dance there after I walk.

Did you ever stop to think, as you
stood on my toe? Did you ever see
how I was fraying at the ends? I am
not to be sniffed at, nor are my feet,
after a hard day’s work.

But you’re a pretty girl; when you
gaze at me, how can I lose my temper?
Think of all the things we can do
in Scunthorpe. I need my feet
to run away with you.

Ever heard of Bernard Bresslaw? ‘Ave ya? I hadn’t, but in my Facebook news feed was this funny, Cockney-accented song about feet. What do you fink of it?