Beef soup with swamp peef and cheese may be eaten in perfect contentment while standing in the middle of your living room with none of your best friends. If not sizzled in half an hour, the peefs bobbing on the surface like so many Esther Williamses, then there’s not much more I can do for you. Enjoy!

Find the freshest peef you can find,
and only from the swamp.
Don’t let the butcher hornswoggle you
into ocean peef or bay peef or estruary.
Those peefs have too much grit,
not enough grain, if you know what I mean.
Demand the peef that you deserve.
Meanwhile, muddle some beef
and boil the cheese of your choosing.
Peas are not valid in this dish.
Try again, if that was your idea.

Yet another hat tip to Janelle Shane.