He said a thing once
about horses.
She can never remember
just what it was,
but she said
it looked like it might rain
and that she’d better
wash those dishes
that were on the back porch.
Prompts from Poetic Asides (a “he said/she said” conversation) and Imaginary Garden with Real Toads (horses).
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Ah, first things first. I like the offhand of this.
Thank you! Yes, I wanted to keep it vague. 🙂
Ha – this feels like those kind of disconnects between men and women, and here he feels to be longing for a freedom from the quotidian and she seems sentenced to it, a very interesting portrait of a couple. k.
Thank you! Yes, that’s what I think, too. Whether they’ve since broken up or not, I don’t know, but this was a moment when he was expressing something passionate and exciting, but she was so rooted in the everyday that she didn’t fully hear it.
I like the realness of this conversation. You have an intriguing style.
Thank you so much, Sherry!
Such brilliant imagery, even in these few lines, I could see the whole scene. (Love you work!)
Thank you so much, Kelly!
Causes me to wonder what it was he said…and then again…if the dishes took precedence…maybe not so important. 😉 I enjoy the brevity and sense of immediate place in this. 🙂
Thanks, Hannah! I don’t know exactly what he said, either — But horses can be kind of wild and exciting, so I think it was something along those lines, while she was just focused on those dishes. 🙂
:)!
I echo the sentiments 🙂 this is brilliant.
Thank you so much, Sanaa!
The casual infusion of depth housed in the lips of preoccupied…Love it!
Thank you, Susie!
A wealth of information so economically expressed; much in the unsaid.
Thank you so much, Rosemary!
Okay, first off, I love everything about this. That it’s micro; that it seems light and straightforward, but that it hides all kinds of backstory, understory, and dept; and that it reminds me of Brian Andreas. A sentence can absolutely be a poem … sometimes, the very best poem.
“it looked like it might rain
and that she’d better”
To me, this hides “run” inside of “rain.” I think, she’s halfway listening to what he’s saying but mostly she’s thinking that she really wants to run off, with the wild horses, but instead she’s going to force her body to wash those damn dishes, even though it’s the last thing in the world she wants to do.
You may not be saying this at all, but it’s what I find “between the lines.”
EXCELLENT work.
Thank you! I looked up Brian Andreas and realized I’ve known his work forever and just didn’t know his name. 🙂 And yes, there’s definitely that tension between the wildness of horses and the everyday of those stupid dishes. Run/rain isn’t something I’d thought of, but as we know, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not there.
really fine atmosphere you’ve carved in just a few strokes ~
Thank you so much, M/grapeling!
Oh, I love the stream of conscious feel of this.
Thanks, De!