Maybe I can enable you to live
your wildest dream potential
in a forest of mushrooms
inside your own body.
You’ll never want to leave
once you’re safely tucked into
your armpit, there to rest, there to
catch the scent on every breeze,
to flehmen like the best kind of cat.
You’ll never know what hit you when
the pounds and inches melt away
and the money starts rolling in;
soon, you’ll be a tiny rich person,
a small butter cookie version
of your former fat self.