Do you dare drink the expired eggnog?
I dare you to enjoy sparkle nightmare
holiday visions of treats gone by,
gone bad. I dare you to embrace
listeria, E.coli, any of the other
suberbads that will trouble your
sleep, make you regret that you
ever heard of baby Jesus or whatever
pagan tradition brought us eggnog
in the first place. Eggnog in April
is well ripened and fizzy — at least
that’s what I’m guessing. The darer
need not take the dare. I didn’t
make that up. The usual rules
apply here, the ones you learned
at the back of the school bus or
in dark corners of the playground
where such deals are made. This
expired eggnog will take you back
to those halcyon days of youth,
when dares were all that mattered
and consequences were nothing.
That’s right. Let it take you
on that journey, divide you
from everything but this.