I’m sorry about your saddest moment.
I’ll send you a cake with an accordion on it.
Do you want some dead roses, too?
I’ve trained these bottle-fed kittens
to mew your name in chorus.
I don’t know what else to do.
I don’t know what more you want
from me. This is not a contest
of suffering. (Your face puffs up
when you cry. Did you know that?
It’s not very attractive.) Well, I’d really
rather be going now. I have places to be,
and clothes of yours to borrow, a life
of yours to go out and live
to the fullest, dear—
to
the
absolute
utter
hilt.
So, I’m doing the PAD Challenge, but I was really not feeling today’s prompt, which was to write about your happiest or saddest moment. I feel like I’ve done both of those to death — or, I guess, one of them to death and the other to birth. But anyway, I’ve done them — and didn’t feel like doing them again. So I invented this horrible, horrible persona. Like, the worst friend you could ever have.
Hey, if it’s Tuesday p.m., check out Open Link Night at dVerse Poets. There’s probably a lot of genuine happy or sad stuff there today.
Marilyn Rauch Cavicchia 
Oh, marilyn…your persona is absolutely terrible (and terribly funny) especially if someone were “crying over spilled milk” as they say…then the kittens wouldn’t get any!
Thanks! I know — she’s awful, isn’t she? I’m not sure where she came from, except that I’m a little crabby today. Yes, no milk for those kittens … I like the way you think. 🙂
Sharp!
Thanks, very belatedly!
lol well at lest you tell the truth at your booth
Belated thanks, Pat!
I completely adore this woman, in a WTF way. Anything I bump against for the next few weeks will be more easily put in perspective by remembering that she and her bottle-fed kittens do not know *my* address.
I kind of like her, too — but am so glad she’s not real. Thanks, complynn!
“clothes of yours to borrow” – this phrase was really it for me here. Nicely done!
Horribly belated thanks!
A fascinating study of a friend no one would want to have. Smiles!
Thanks, Mary!
This is deliciously nasty. I want to tell this persona I’m having a bad day just so she’ll send me “a cake with an accordion on it”–what a hilarious image!
Thanks, Jennifer! (Very, awfully belatedly.) That image popped into my head and would not be dislodged, or replaced with a violin.
wow – that one packed a punch!
Thanks so much, Bill!
Haha this is absolutely wonderful. The first stanza is what I find to be the strongest part. Cheers!
Very belated but heartfelt thanks, Jeremiah!