Shawna, Driver, Toyota Corolla

I’ve been thinking a lot about how everything is connected.
One time in geometry class, we had a sub who talked to us
about Fibonacci numbers, fractals. A lot of people were like,
whatever, but I took notes, looked it all up later, at home.
Sometimes I talk about it with Ben, on the way to and from
school. That’s one reason I rescued him from the bus—
because I knew he was someone I could talk to like that.
I know things about Ben that he doesn’t even know yet,
because he’s younger than me, but also because that’s
how I am. It’s not always so great, because I can’t
turn it off, and there are times when I would like to.
It would be nice to just go to the football game
like everyone else, you know? Not think so much.
Just be a kid, I guess. I don’t know what I am now;
I just turned 18, and a couple girls in my class have
babies already, and I swear, one of them has like
a 5-year-old. But do I feel like I could move out today,
get a job, be a real person yet? Probably not. It’s hard
to imagine being somewhere else next year, either
a couple of hours away or more like seven. We’ll see
how it all works out. My mom is still pushing hard for
Belmont Tech or OU-Zanesville, living at home, how
So-and-So found that they saved a ton of money,
it still felt like being at college, and then they didn’t
have all those loans. She and I both know that’s
not going to be me. I do think about Ben, what will
happen when I’m not here to give him rides, keep him
from getting picked on. But at least there’s Skype, or
we both got iPads for Christmas—still not sure how we
managed that—so now we have FaceTime, too. I think,
even though it’s not like we’ll ever get married or anything
(we don’t like each other like that), that Ben and I will
always be in touch somehow. It’s like how I’ve read that
in the ground, under all the rock and stuff, there are
secret rivers, and that’s where our water comes from.
We’re like that. Two secret rivers, side by side.

 

 

For Open Link Night at dVerse Poets. (Please sample some of the other fine poems, too.)

 

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8 thoughts on “Shawna, Driver, Toyota Corolla

  1. nice…really like the closure on this and the secret rivers…its a tough time you know…those first big steps out….harder even for some….and we can hope those relationships last…i still have a few friends from high school i see every couple years…..

  2. I love the way you have captured that teenage voice, trying to be courageous in the face of adversity, and all the while wondering, wondering, about how it all hangs together, if at all…

    • Thank you! It was a tough balance because I wanted her to sound just young and slangy enough without going too far, and I also didn’t want to make too many guesses about how things would turn out for her. I wanted some anxiety, but lots of possibility, too.

  3. The fabulous Hedgewitch worked Fibonacci numbers into a poem of hers, not so long ago, or I wouldn’t have a clue. Anyone who has more on their mind than “American Idol” is cool, in my book.

    • I had a kind of wacky/fragile/intense math teacher who taught us about these. Maybe fractals, too. I thought Fib numbers were magic, and now I hear about them now and then. They’ve become a poetic form, too, but I haven’t tried it.

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