NaPoWriMo, Day 21: Hay(na)ku

An invented form: One word for the first line, two for the second, three for the third. And repeat, if desired. For anyone who’s ever been second (or third) best …

 

Afterthought

I
am not
your best girl

but
I am
the one who

is
with you
here, right now.

Should
we go
to the dance?

I
am wearing
my best dress

though
I know
I am second

best,
or third,
in your eyes.

You
bought me
a wrist corsage

anyway.
I love
it even though

it’s
wilted and
was an afterthought,

the
last one
in the case.

 

 

 

Advertisements
Standard

9 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo, Day 21: Hay(na)ku

  1. I like this form. The sparseness of words almost seems to make the depth of the message of being an afterthought more pronounced. Ironically, I guess that’s kind of like an afterthought too.

  2. Yes! And the references in the poem to “second” and “third” echo the structure, too.

    You know, I didn’t think I’d be able to come up with a poem using this form until I read yours. Now, I’m getting inspired! Thanks for another terrific read, Marilyn.

    • Hi, Marilyn. What a great poem. It works best when the hay(na)ku stanza and a complete thought coincide, as in the first stanza and second-to-last stanza.

      May I feature your poem-a-day blog in mine? http://vincegotera.blogspot.com I’ve been posting my own poems and a writing buddy’s as well as featuring other poets’ NaPoWriMo blogs. Would you take a look through my blog and see if you would be okay with the feature?

      Hope you say yes. You can respond by leaving a reply here (I’ll watch for it) or else a comment on my blog’s most recent post. Thanks.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s