An invented form: One word for the first line, two for the second, three for the third. And repeat, if desired. For anyone who’s ever been second (or third) best …
your best girl
the one who
here, right now.
to the dance?
my best dress
I am second
in your eyes.
a wrist corsage
it even though
was an afterthought,
in the case.
9 thoughts on “NaPoWriMo, Day 21: Hay(na)ku”
I like this form. The sparseness of words almost seems to make the depth of the message of being an afterthought more pronounced. Ironically, I guess that’s kind of like an afterthought too.
Thank you! There was something about the 1-2-3, too, that made me think of dances and this poor, awkward girl.
Yes! And the references in the poem to “second” and “third” echo the structure, too.
You know, I didn’t think I’d be able to come up with a poem using this form until I read yours. Now, I’m getting inspired! Thanks for another terrific read, Marilyn.
Hi, Marilyn. What a great poem. It works best when the hay(na)ku stanza and a complete thought coincide, as in the first stanza and second-to-last stanza.
May I feature your poem-a-day blog in mine? http://vincegotera.blogspot.com I’ve been posting my own poems and a writing buddy’s as well as featuring other poets’ NaPoWriMo blogs. Would you take a look through my blog and see if you would be okay with the feature?
Hope you say yes. You can respond by leaving a reply here (I’ll watch for it) or else a comment on my blog’s most recent post. Thanks.
Yes, of course! Thank you, Vince.
Thanks, Jennifer … I find form challenging, but I liked this one once I got going.
Marilyn … feature done: http://vincegotera.blogspot.com/2012/04/day-23-napowrimo-poem-day.html Thanks!
Vince, thank you so much! What a great honor.
Marilyn, feature done … http://vincegotera.blogspot.com/2012/04/day-23-napowrimo-poem-day.html Thanks!