These Modern Appliances

Let’s try this again,
assuming the ceiling fan
can turn time backwards
if we reverse its direction
and correct for any
interstitial interference
by the music of the spheres.
Did we keep the instructions?
The microwave says we did,
but it’s a liar — or at least
its recipe booklet is.
But back to the fan,
how its blades oscillate,
how it whines as if
it’s about to achieve lift-off,
fly through our front window,
seek a new home for itself,
one with lower expectations.


The Canaries Fail to Spin

If you’re kissing your mustachioed husband,
I won’t buy your particular brand of ham sandwich.
No. Not today. And I don’t need any more sand
in these autoclaves; already, the canaries fail to spin
about half the time. I need some of those fail-safe,
sand-safe autoclaves, or your husband
without a mustache, or double the canaries.
I hope you can understand. I feel that you will.